Episode 18 Part 2: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Kelly and Lexi pick up where they left off, i.e. a SEMINAL THREEWAY that changed hearts and minds for the better. In this second part of our discussion, the legendary gang’s all here: Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot and Morgaine are joined by bad children (Mordred) and beige children (Galahad) to continue making terrible decisions that impact a maximum number of people.

Mists of Avalon cover

But as the story speeds towards it tragic end, we have to face facts and question whether Mists of Avalon is important and valuable enough to eclipse Marion Zimmer Bradley’s crimes. And they are crimes. For the first time, we issue a ***CONTENT WARNING*** related to the sexual abuse of children and pedophilia and examine the accusations of MZB’s children, Moira and Mark Greyland, the 1963 Breendoggle, and Zimmer Bradley’s own callous statements on the matter. Bring wine.

Moira Greyland’s accusations

Mark Greyland’s accusations

Marion Zimmer Bradley’s deposition

The Breendoggle

*****
Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Part 1 is here.

Episode 18 Part 1: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Ladies and germs, it’s a big one: join Lexi and Kelly as they discuss the life-changing feminist fantasy masterpiece that is Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Mists of Avalon.

Mists of Avalon Cover

From the origins of Lexi’s “Lancelot Problem” to the threeway that ended Kelly’s childhood, this retelling of the Arthurian legend from the women’s perspectives set our hostesses on a wayward path to reading more seminal books – in every sense of the word. It made us angrier and smarter and pickier about art. But does it hold up to our current lofty standards and transcend revelations about the author herself? There’s a lot to drink about. Part 1 of 2.

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

 

Episode 17: Plains of Passage by Jean M. Auel

The definition of insanity is Kelly and Lexi reading yet another Jean M. Auel book featuring everyone’s least favourite cavemen, Jondalar and Ayla.

Plains_of_Passage

Mammoths not included.

And while the title of Plains of Passage, the fourth novel in the Earth’s Children series, implies movement, change, and action, we get lists of grasses instead. Sure, there is a female utopia gone wrong and scummy mammoth sex, but in between there are grasses. Whole paragraphs, pages and chapters of it. And yet somehow, we already know that we’ll probably read the next one too. Goddamn it.  

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Episode 16: Fifty Shades Darker, the Movie

Did someone put the sin in cinema? Because Somebody Wrote This is back for more punishment!

fiftyshadesdarkerposter

Kelly and Lexi briefly emerge from hibernation to experience Fifty Shades Darker, the movie adaptation of the unnecessary novel of the same name by EL James. All of our faves are back – except for the well-meaning director and writer of the first instalment – but there’s still lots to talk about like Christian’s “smiles”, Anastasia’s sublime energy and frantic-eyed waifs. Yes, it’s the usual from EL et al. but it’s somehow more fun than last time. Maybe it was our lack of expectations? Maybe it was the maple-flavoured whiskey liqueur? It was definitely at least partly the lipstick. We’ve missed you so grab anything to drink and join us for some highfalutin trash talk!

fiftyshadesdarker0005

Dat lipstick tho…

 

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Episode 15.5: Lifetime’s My Sweet Audrina

We couldn’t just walk away from VC Andrews’ My Sweet Audrina without getting Lifetime’s hot take on the whole mess, and so we present a very special, very sober edition of Somedy Wrote This. Starring lots of background noise (dogs, cats, airplanes), we take a look at this made-for-TV oeuvre and how it varies from the novel and why that’s ultimately good for the world.

my-sweet-audrina

 

 

Are there leather vests? Yes. Soap-opera villain goatees? Sure are. Canadian accents? And how. Join us as we celebrate never having to think about this again!  

Show Notes:

Photo from True Crime Garage (*may be disturbing to some*)

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher 

Episode 15: My Sweet Audrina by VC Andrews

It’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Lexi and Kelly read VC Andrews’ My Sweet Audrina at your insistence. If a lot of the story elements feel familiar here, it’s because we’ve been trapped in this nightmare with an exceptional heroine before, although not one this fucking confused about time.

mysweetaudrina

There are a lot of chips to lay down on our VC Andrews bingo card: hot parents, magic hair, a nympho tween, and terrible children’s songs about rooms. But this one is so much more than that. It’s timeless Southern Gothic where staircases kill and porn clippings stick to your fingers. Spike your tea with some bourbon and have an extended listen.

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

 

Episode 14: Jemima J by Jane Green

Take Bridget Jones and Sex and the City, subtract the humanity and the light, and you’re left with Jane Green’s Jemima J, an indictment of the late 90s and all the rollerblading and suede that came with them.

Jemima J Cover

We’re treated to some world-class fat shaming here, along with very early catfishing, staggering generalizations, and characters that are tanned, starving husks of people meat, their souls having long departed if they were ever there at all. And do not fear: if you wait around long enough and lose so much weight that the man of your dreams no longer recognizes you, you just might just get him to love you back. xoxo, JJ  

***There’s a weird glitch in the file, so you might hear a jump around the 47th minute…Sorry, we can’t fix it!***

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Bear by Marian Engel

A librarian acquires a new lover on a business trip to Northern Ontario, except that he’s a bear, as in not a human at all. But is it a bear or a symbol of the reaffirmation of her sexuality and a victory over her alienation from her own body, its desires and the sublimation of her needs into an eroticism that is palatable to men? It’s a bear.

PaperbackCoverofBearbyMarianEngel

I tried to credit this properly, but WordPress wouldn’t let me.

Kelly and Lexi are back and the first in line at the liquor store to recount the tale of a cataloguer and her furry new boyfriend in Marian Engel’s Bear, a book that won awards mainly because of the 1970s.

Here are the Fowler octagon houses, i.e. the scene of the crime.

And the Vanity Fair article about Meryl Streep and the making of Kramer vs. Kramer why the 1970s needed feminism.

Listen!

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

 

Episode 12: Dark Angel by VC Andrews

We’re back and so are Heaven, Fanny, Logan, mean old ladies, and incest. It’s time to dust off our hilbilly accents and pick up where we left off with the second instalment of the Casteel series, Dark Angel by VC Andrews.

 

Casteel02_DarkAngel

 

Heaven may have made it out of the Willies, but desperate poverty and hunger are no match for new hardships like mazes and slightly unfashionable shoes. Guys, it’s called Dark Angel because she’s pretty like an angel and her hair is dark…I mean, what could go wrong? Featuring the debut club track from the Somebody Wrote This house band, DJs in the Attic!

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Stream

Episode 11: Belladonna by Karen Moline

Baby balls and botheration, we had to read Karen Moline’s Belladonna for your listening displeasure.

Belladonna

Have you ever longed to read the seemingly unedited thoughts of a fat eunuch who is fat and also a eunuch? No? Too bad. Set in hundreds of locations over thousands of years, Tomassino (or Tassimo) tells the story of Ariel Nickerson, a young and fresh-faced dummy who somehow tumbles into sex slavery in 1930s Britain only to become the leading nightclub proprietor of 1950s New York? I don’t know. She rides an ostrich. The end.

Direct download mp3

iTunes

Stitcher

Stream

Blog at WordPress.com.